It’s been a week since my declaration to better my lifestyle in attempt to live a healthier physical, emotional, and spiritual lifestyle.
We actually did work out…and on New Year’s Day! And we’ve worked out three days since, as planned, despite my ongoing cold. I can’t say that I’ve done that great of a job at eating any healthier, but in a few days when we go shopping, our choices will get better. I’ve limited myself to eight to ten cigarettes per day this last week as well. I normally smoked nearly a pack a day, having usually about three, definitely one, left at the end of each night. So far, I’ve done amazing with that commitment.
Yes, I used a post it note for that, but I also broke out my Scarface cigarette case and prepacked it each morning with eight cigarettes, taking the ninth out with me for the first one of the day. I kept the rest of the pack in my dresser drawer, out of sight, out of mind. The only thing I could see was that I had those amount of cigarettes in that case for the entire day, so I had to ration myself and make use of the “halfie” system. And no, just because you’re up past midnight does not mean you get to start over. As my wife put it, you don’t take from tomorrow to pay for today…or something like that!
I’ve read once through Corinthians and intend on reading through again, this time reading the study notes. Wow…what a strict book! I’m not quite sure what to make of it. It’s something I’ll have to ponder on, I guess.
We finally got our back patio back this week. It was held hostage by a love seat that has been waiting patiently to get over to it’s new house at my mama-in-law’s. It finally got there and we’ve finally, since we moved in, have had the time to fix it up to make it more inviting for us to spend time out there, especially considering all of our different personalities.
Other than Thanking God most every morning and maintaining my eight to ten smokes a day plan, and of course my blog time, every other plan I had failed to take a good root this week. I guess that’s what happens when we make plans…God laughs and says, “that’s not my plan for you…yet.” I guess I still need to work on surrendering what I want and accept what just comes.
Which brings me to this song that has been haunting me, so I thought, for a few weeks. I’m not sure why I’ve been avoiding it; I actually like the song. But I think yesterday when I surrendered my ears to the song the message finally came to me.
First of all, one of my most favorite things I’ve always loved to do was get in the car and drive, turn my music up, and just…drive. Whatever was going on at the moment would somehow be handled within me after spending time in the car. I would just get in and take off, giving little thought to direction, although I would maintain a certain perimeter around my home. I didn’t see any reason for worrying anyone, so most of the time people would have an idea of where I went if I was going somewhere or around what area I would be in if I was just driving around.
Now, ironically, I no longer have a vehicle of my own. I sold it about a month and a half ago because it was starting to require some repair that I wouldn’t be able to afford and I had to take the loss. Yes, I was bitter. But, the truck served it’s purpose! It brought my family out to Arizona, to a city where I really don’t need a vehicle because if I don’t have access to our other one, there is a huge mass transit system. Plus, I don’t have many places to go! But that’s not the point. The point, actually, has nothing to do with driving a vehicle at all!
When you get behind the wheel of a car and get out on the street, you only have control over very few things. Your own personal environment is one of them, the turns you make are one of them, but the road you are traveling on and the drivers traveling around you are completely out of your control. So while you’re in the car, you do your best to pay attention to everything, use your skill and knowledge to keep you safe, but in reality, there is nothing you can do about what is coming at you out of nowhere. The best you can do is to listen to your music and stay alert and just drive without being hyper-conscious of everything. That only takes more of your attention away from what’s happening around you and within you. And you can’t plan for anything anyway…so just drive…you’ll get where you’re going.
The same is true with our days. If we wake up with a plan of what we’re going to do, if it is anything outside of a routine, then we’re doing less than listening to what God has in store for us that day. Hop in the car, rev the engine, turn your music on, and just listen. Let God point you in the direction you’re supposed to be heading that day, after you’ve said your prayers, of which He already knows what you desire, and know that you both have a destination in mind. Every day is a continuation of a lifetime road tip, on your way to Heaven, and every day may be a change of scenery or a detour because that’s what God has in store for us that day. Just take the wheel and drive!
~Dear Lord Jesus…Please forgive me my indiscretions this week as I tried to my myself proud in an aim to start living my life with better choices and with better discipline. Thank you for being a merciful God, that I may screw up and keep trying and know that my faith in you has a direct impact on your faith in me, and you, Lord, are the most faithful of all. Thank you for all the blessings you shared with our family this week, Lord, we certainly felt comforted in your good graces and look forward to next week with more opportunities to better ourselves that we may better our service for you. Please watch over my family’s travel this week, keep them all safe and at peace while on their journey to share in crossing the threshold of my wife’s son’s military life. Lord I ask that you keep him and bless him throughout his service to this country and his service to you, Lord, and that you bring my family safely home to me. Also, if it’s not too much to ask, if you could help my daughter and I have a good week and help us both work on what we need to work. In your precious and holy name, I pray….Amen~